saw some people again that I'm not suppose to see. why?

I went to pray alone today and then.. I walk to the temple from station to Shang Lin shi and back to station. perspired all over like hell and my head was heavy due to the sun.

had a gathering with gang had Korean BBQ again though I really don't like but just to accompany my friends. hope my dear Jj had cheered up abit and relax cux she had a crave settled. when she approach me talking about her in law.

o man I'm really dying and my eyes can't open. night my dears

this is the Dono how many times being my friends sister on their wedding dinner. and I been MC twice too. it was rather tiring to help the bride hold the dress up and down on a very very hot sun taking photos seriously. actually felt it meaningful though its tiring. there will be another one this year on November again on silly wedding. It's my pleasure invited to be my friends wedding sister, there's a myth saying that cannot be more than 3 times anyway I don believe it la. wahaha

had some interactions with the groom's brothers. I find them very gentleman in a way. the three brothers are really the groom's own blood younger brother, the groom is the eldest. they are all degree holders in Singapore, all are professionals at the age of early 30s. I also realized one thing their kinship bond is very good between them. the third brother actually quite a thoughtful one whom I was him in his car, carry all the drinks so heavy asking people wana drink under the scorching hot sun. they are all very enthusiastic helping the couple with the photo taking effects without any complaining.

not that I'm 发花痴 hor. I find them very charming though they are all 30s. they don't look old anyway.

even after the morning customary every one were worn out, still during the wedding dinner they are still very enthusiastic, helping his elder brother to go every table for toasting. I cant any good bond kinship like what these four brothers have.

a seven years relationship was broken. long distance relation, the guy was in china working and the girl was in sg. the guy initiated to break up cux he uses his cock to thinks. the girl had bear and kept quiet and turn to no one except her sister. after months of depressed, she met someone new for couples of months and the wedding bells rings already.

Best wishes to her and hope she is blessed.

a man really cannot resist temptation. even a 7 years relationship is so fragile. man really uses their cock to thinks.

be more sincere if you gonna unlock my heart cause I will never let it be unlock easily. heavy hearted. contradicting. his sudden appeared made me ponder for awhile.

muscle aching and I can't go down the stairs

my tummy hurts big time and I couldn't sleep! I hate menses!!! arghz

by a blink again it's march! gosh. no hopes from him it's the best I could give myself. no hope no disappoint. I will never denied I do miss him.

picking up pieces by myself. you know it hurts to put the brokens back.

never change seriously never change at all. why?

we will never cross the line again. never ever. I didnt touch that little cute thing for months cause I am angry and sad whenever I see it.

I just dont feel good.

I just woke up from noise. it's 6:15am and I don know whether can go back to sleep. i had slept from 3am till now. freaking freaking badly tired. did a little retail therapy just now.

anyway I'm proceeding with the Bangkok trip which I'm kinda surprised. but anyway jus go ahead.

weekends I didn't really go out and actually stay home and rest. read article online.

how is he doing? i hope he's skin is good especially these weather, it will irritate him the most. and his health isn't really good. work everything is fine for him, no trouble from temasek. I will always wish the best for him.

no matter is a good or bad memories the thought of him, my face will be full of tears. perhaps it's always bad?!

night

too much of my anger?

my chest and heart is freaking tight. like someone is pressing on me. arghz anyway I had postpone my medical appointment I don't to waste my money since I know I will not be healthy.

whole body is very tense and aching everywhere.

why am I very hot temper these days?
or am I too kind to my friends?
anyway I have got nothing wrong wor.
seriously I knew it she don have the heart to go de but I don understand probably it's just an excuse.

the disappointing was someone actually commented you very lucky she can go now if not i intend to Aeroplane you! how would you bloody feels? if ever said it back to her she will go home and cry! before that she can't go after some settled things she can. so now she cannot again cux of some issue la. I feel it's an excuse. though I must be understanding but to a certain extend I think it's an excuse.

so about yesterday I just back out to go high tea which I promised earlier cux I wanted to stay home. but somebody throw her attitude saying IM ALWAYS LIKE THAT! what the hell. when you guys secretly meet up without telling me several time so I have to be angry la? if I'm doing back to you people you said I never regard you people as my best friends?!

I always pass it with a smile and never be calculative but drove to a corner. I'm sorry. I know where I stand now! i also will be very realistic to you guys.

sigh. I hope I can see you now and hug you tight.

I been playing games from my I phone and I didnt go any where but home straight. addicted to the scramble game in apps store. and www.y8.com a lot a lot games in this webby.

I do not like to play games actually. but I love the game that uses brain and logic.

since you love him so much, why didn't you try your best to be with him?

I smile, he doesn't needs me in his life like I do. eventually he don't love me.

i never try to forget him. you can't

just now

jeremy " the guy you went phuket with is your bf now?"

me "he was a past tense, someone i loved the most in my life?"

in fact i was never his gf before.

i had a really sweet dream last night i dreamt of him calling me to meet up, it was really a pleasant surprised. and i actually woke up to check my phone.

perhaps i missed him alot.



i surrounded by bees lately to keep me occupied. nothing wrong with that.
and im not interested in all!

sometimes its entertaining to have random people come chating with me on fb and whatsapp.

i will have random people to entertain me when work is hectic and pissing. wahahaha

really too much good food over the festive months!


and today it will be 7 years. I learnt a lot of lessons through.

one more hour. it will mark 3 years.
I used to hope my effort sincerity will be like the materialistic queen in the drama been paid off.

20th feb and 21st feb I hated these two days! that's why I hate February and don feel like going anywhere and talk to anyone. this two dates reminded me I wasted my 7 years of youth.

i am not in my comfort zone for a long time.

material queen. i love the storyline. cry like a freak while watching.

I look through my photos I felt I hadn't been really happy for the past two years. I didnt smile very sincerely from my heart. I miss those days where I am really carefree!

pretty broke two more weekends to bear through. hmm i feel bad I can't attend the chocolate buffet for Sharon birthday. I didn't really go out so often lately. I'm really sorry that I been rejecting someone of meeting him. I'm sorry. you know who you are.

I miss smelling the late nights air and had a hearty breakfast returning home and sleep, though is unhealthy I miss it. my love and hate towards weekends, love it when it's weekdays and hoping dying for a good rest and sleep. hate it when I got no where to go and nothing to do.

who can bring the smile to me when I'm angry and down? I hate the feeling now. I need a tight hug! can February gone soon for good. I hate february!

I wants to dig out my heart to see what's wrong and cure it! or put it in a microwave to warm it.

freaking busy with work lately.
i am really tired and cant get enough sleep every day.

every day reached home, im dead meat.
i am still not really recover with my sickness.

zzzzzz i need more time to sleep and rest at home.

im going bangkok real soon, cant wait hope nothing cork up.
just watched the news last night, theres bomb again AGAIN.
which i couldnt care more. wahaha
anyway xiao xin and evelyn is going there today, i may check it out with them when they come back.

maybe its a good thing too when feburary pass faster cause i am too sad to pass my days.

misses

the little surprise was sweet. but

do you understand that text message I sent?

really appreciated even is just a simple dinner.
thanks for the pressies.


hmmmmmm....

curious about my life lately........

kekekeke......

happy 25th birthday to myself

5 years to 30 o my gosh!! arghz

I really miss him. I miss him surprising me with those fire works sticks at east coast park on my birthday. I miss him making an extra effort to make me extra happy on my birthday every time.

every thought he make wasn't spell out by his mouth but actions proven.

he is someone not expressive about his feelings. I loved the way he is. his action was true when even he tried to hide his feelings away from me.

last year wasn't a happy birthday celebration, I dint get to blow the candles.

I am very very :(

it can be annoying when who you also don wana meet!

it cant be change. if you spell out read my mind and heart. you don't understand. never ever.

lately I'm short fuse.

unwell. too heaty over the cny. I seriously not feeling well again.

new job scope so far so good but pros and cons. nobody come and disturb I will be very thankful.

it's annoying. when you cured 2 pimples and break out 5. I think it's karma I always laugh at people in my secondary days or I should say teenagers years my face was free of blemishes. lately I been taking care well eating good, having good rest. well done it became worsen. what's wrong? could it be mid 20s hormones changes?

hmmm lately I got no energy to stay up late. I will fall asleep very early. old.

get to know random guys at a new work place. work has new challenges.

since I can't get the chalet and hotel what shall I do for birthday? sad le. anyway it's not important.

nothing to look forward but except the bkk trip on march.

misses. hurts. tears. who knows I know? anger?! do I.

my 24+ years I don't have problem with my friends. I won't anyhow curse scold vulgar flare up to my friends. but if I really do, don't you think that's something wrong with the other party. seriously I'm pretty annoyed. last year I just learn to hate someone and really use my heart to curse her died. but I'm a forgiving person and forget that matter already. and for that CHU 3 incident I'm really fed up! is not the first time and umpteen times hes like that I believe chao ah gua all behave this way. no wonder he got not much friends. I really pity him. at first we were really good till he took people for granted. he disappoint his family and friends time and time again. he really indeed make me annoyed till the max! her sister was my buddy. I never really give her face when I scold him chao ah gua! cuz I told her before it's me between her brother. so I hope she won't be offended. I'm really pissed. to everyone in office too he can't to get well with other colleagues too, so do you think whose fault is it? why would people wana backstab you and Bao To you every time. your just worse than shit. er Xin TTM

last min met up with nes to prawn. then Liyi deliver tou huay. it wasnt that boring, pretty much catch. I think the laughter we had among us is very different from other friends. I don't know how to explain here. but we can laugh at the slightest Thingy and we are very good of making fun of people laugh like hell. so bad right. maybe its the childishness laughter. yeah it's only those evil of us jambel will do that but not the dots.

no cny feels yet for now. lol. maybe to me it's an occasion to gather with friends to gamble, eat eat eat. and steamboat everywhere. that's all.

hmm please I don't want any 桃花. you know it's always a sway thing to have. especially a bad one. but Iately it slowly coming again.

o man just to tell people don't try to bloody matchmake introduce people. I really hate it to TTM. when you thought it's only both of them suddenly it pop out another one person. when you inform it's fine, I'm not those anti social. at least it's respect right.

it's almost 5am. my mummy already start cooking, how to sleep???

I came across a guy on fb. I realized he just add girls only whom name is mabel lee and he added me. I'm thinking he's stalking someone. i dint approve when I saw in my mobile and then when I log in using pc I approve cux I'm curious. he name himself as some weird name also. I believe not real name too. who could it be? weird

the emo-ness surrounded me lately. especially night. misses

hopefully I am able to get the MBS room for my bday.
lol I really wished I could enjoy my life till old and don't need to work.
yeah that's me. I got no ambition.

I sneak out to club keke. on a weekday night with someone. with wind blowing against your face and super fast ride. shiok and thrill. isn't it cool huh?

knowing someone is out for sex? will you take the offer of cuz girls gotta protect yourself. don't you feel odd when you don't have feeling for the guy? ONS is two willing parties right. why do girls always go around telling people why ya hurt fool by a guy. come on nobody ask you to open your leg to be fucked?

people got to close your door. and not asking or inviting trouble when you yourself know is a loop there. IT TAKEs TWO HANDS TO CLAP. a guy can be a bastard, but girls can be a slut if you give them a chance to hurt you and go around complaining he's a bad guy. if your willing party then keep your mouth shut.

I not manipulated by anyone. please get lost. I'm not obligated to help you as and when you like.

shopping for consecutive four days since saturday till tuesday. no joke man my legs hurts ESP knee cap part. and the ankle. gosh suan tong! not only my leg hurts but my pocket hurts too. madness shopping! but it seems doesn't work much for me psychologically. anyway my clothes and shoes I'm having right I can last for a year or two. keke.
the satisfactory was I got for myself two BeBe tops keke. I love it.

hai my menses is such a drag. I can't do anything to stop the pain every month but just can't drink cold drinks. suck big time again. I vomited in office due to the cramps. arghz I hate it. I need drug to control it every month. it really suck to the core when those pills could only be taken at home. damn! cux I will be very drowsy and sleepy. it's hurts till I wana shout!!!

I doubt I could go suntaning myself coming weekends. look at the weather again this week no sun le, then rain abit. idiot when I busy the sun is so glaring and strong. will see hw ba. I not pathetic to go suntan myself right. plus my menses just came. hate it TTM!

tonight I can rest early. let's hope I will keep mind clear so that I can sleep well. though... good night. :( please be happy again soon please!!

I just gave all my blessings to him.

deep down in my heart is a open wound. once in a while I happen to click on those photos we took I try not to be affected when I see them. learning to let go doesn't mean escaping. and not seeing anything that is related to him.

nobody would know that kinda remaining silent after a long time. it's my loudest cry ever.

wishing you were here but I can't have him anymore. I love you

I do kinda miss him but everytime I think of him. I will thought of something bad he did, he went on a holiday with Ahxue to her hometown. every time I walk pass by some Vietnam girls I feel freaking angry. he treated me like shit, why do I think of him still?

i won't purposely forget him. the more i do that, the harder I can totally let down. prolly he don't even want to remember me!

it's been awhile I drop my tears. =(

supposed to met Allan for lunch but with my ugly hair, break out face and badly dress and I turned him down.

I went to met silly for dinner just now. my thought are very neutral. I am open minded, just hope she isn't hurt. :) in rs nobody is right or wrong.

like many things happen today.
just hung up the call with fatty choo. anyway as a friend I hope he will be mature enough to have the music.

quarrelled with my friend again as usual because of some issue. nowadays I became more objectives. I see no point in arguing if I think that person only wants to win. so I would jus rudely jus blood hang up. find quarrel go else where. or talk to me you jus wan a apologize or wan to win come straight to the point?!

lastly a debating in my fb wall with jason Jee and Jj. talking about inflation economy and stupid property?!

OMg is so late I still can't sleep! wth.

every time I feel lonely, I will think of my friends that I'm being loved actually. thanks god I got friends around.

haha today went amk to meet Jj and Liyi. guess what heard a familiar voice Mabel calling me saw kiat and cf first at a particular shop. then again walk around the shop another time heard "eeeh mabel" lol it was ah wai and his gf. so coincidently. ah wai said we gathering isit in that shop. wahaha we were all from the same class in sec 5. well it is amk so no surprise bumming into ex classmates.

I want to bum around. if I got the Money I will! recently the weather looks very good for tanning, I wana go sentosa but no kakis.

erm i feel very irritated by him. not convenient to reveal his name. sometimes his actions and words. mayb cause of that incident. when he told me he wana go tan also, or gei gei trying to ask me also when huh. I feel very fan kan. when i post i wana go tan. the next minute i saw him post on fb any pools open on a ph? i wana tann. and he got the cheek to say 'you like me isit why like keep stalking me' cause I am siting right behind me only its natural if I'm really looking at him but not purposely. pui!!! please er Xin to the max!!! really suspect is he a bi. he's a gay already made me feel very disgusted Liao. maybe I'm facing kinda every day also. very fan kan.

aiyoyo I sleep too much again. can't sleep now.

2012 what am I looking forward to? 23 days to cny. 38 days to 25. I dono how to tell you how I feel, reluctant to accept I'm actually mid 20s omgosh!

I will work hard at least not to rely on anyone. 2011 was a very bad year for me, I'm thankful I survive through it. 2012 please be a good one :) thanks for the awesome friends that still with me.

lol was talking to nes, hw if we 30 years old still alone. like those old hag never get marry people don't like. hmm, we got each other at least a bunch of good friends. dont worry that your alone. I am at the peck of all my besties. <3 you people.

my wish. I really gonna think hard and achieve it.

I believe each difficulties and wrong path I went through I emerge stronger.

I guess I'm getting very use to singlehood. i was way to vulnerable in the past. my friends out there please dont be too dependent on ya guy be it emotionally or physically.

though i may miss the feeling of having someone by my side. which I always have and took for granted. the last thing I will do is to abandon my friends. I would never do that when I'm attach. like some people out there when they will like he or she got bf or gf. they will just Mia and then when they got out of love they come back to you. really deprive on them.

I don look forward to find a bf and get settle. instead a companion. neither I have that thought of getting marry. rather depressing. let me grow not too old and die, don let me suffer from illness. which I think or rather predict I will definitely suffer and die.

I guess nobody could touch my heart at least for now. I swore I really knew and see 不少贱男人seriously. but each time why do I still dig my grave and die in their hands.

how sad and pessimistic I can to actually don't believe theres someone really very faithful out there. bull shit. extinct already.

gonna turn in. every night I'm freaking tired.

I'm loving this Xmas!

what's your definition towards 贱男人？I mean to me if your single, no string attach with anyone, you flirt fling around and have sex is totally fine with me. unless you got gf, wife.

I admire people that had got that charisma could play around. but how years down the road can you play?

I just had a chat with g. he told me he was on leave for 2 weeks clear leave and wanted to stay away from alcohol. I laugh like mad, a person whom drink and party everyday get tired of of drinking?! and Mon just went to Windsor. what a joke. I knew quite a few addicted to alcohol, 酒毒太深！alcohol runs in the blood.

wahaha. how to achieve that charisma? worn off. good night

back from supper. this festive season gona fat die me.

It's a special Xmas this year, Im happy and enjoyed myself. congratz to my lovely that she gave birth to a Xmas baby girl. baby shanice was the name I given to her. =D welcome baby shanice to the world!

hmm sometimes looking at yixin pictures could also make my day. can't stand the cuteness of her. my dear Jj you did a good job of being a young mummy.

I dono just could feel the joy around me. tonight I rested at home except gone out awhile just now.

I had sent an SMS to him just now, it's a link of a song. because of you. nothing else more. had not been contacting him ever since. I think i am brave this time, very brave. my smile, my laughter wasn't faking. I am happy. at times when it's alone I do feel hurt but it's human.

neither I can forget him, I know I can't. just had to let it be the past. Silly was just asking when we met up for gift exchange she asked me "still waiting?!" of cause no. for a moment I paused. lol

I am not looking for boyfriend instead I just need an companion. like many males out there looking for companionship. good wor in a way I don't invest my feeling. companionship could easily find for me. pardon me I know I'm open minded. I have a very pessimistic thinking towards marriage.

bio sexual?! lol isn't a bad idea either if one day I am one will you be surprise? wahaha.

well I had make a few awesome friends at work. life can be very miserable sometimes at work, they will just make your day.

I smile when I pass the xmas gift to serene. yup it's the past 算了算了ba! one friend than a enemy. sometimes I may be angry but it's just a short while. like fei always said I very kind and forgiving. he said not everyone including him is forgiving he's not like me can forgive me easily.

how many friends are sincere? maybe sometimes I am very naive or stupid I treat everyone equally. I 100% trust that people won't hurt me or harm me. very naive hur. your good to me, I will return it back to ya too.

having many awesome friends in my life is great! though I am rather lonely lately, I do need a partner. BUT hais. haha.

so cheers to my life now that I could fling flirt around. I have not seen enough bad guys, please more to come! lol

I want to go Maldives really much beautiful beaches actually anywhere that's has nice beaches will do. like Phuket I went this year, really nice blue sea and cliffs. maybe Bali next stop hmmm where G mention.

lol I must clear my debts to nes first. hee

next year will be 25, maybe I want to make a big celebration? should I? for the past few years I had fei with me only. o mine I start to tear. know why when I was with Ahber he had never been there for my birthday anniversary valentines festive seasons so I am rather contented when fei was just there even a simple dinner and outing.

every year I pass seen tougher more challenges but people have to grow up. I wish I never grow up seriously.

hmmm I have so many wants to buy and wish but got no money to accomplish. wahaha! a unique watch, branded bag, holiday, necklaces, a diamond ring, ear rings.

Everytime when I'm down I will like to cut my hair. though hao bu rong Yi first time I kept so long. it was for him. I cut it to feel refresh and let it grow all over again. I look better in longer hair though but still great in short hair. wahaha regret cutting but nvm! :) anyway short hair is me
ma!

I got no idea.
may I just rest for my whole life.
the Mabel is still the same.

maybe I can just play around.
I do find it interesting. I'm a bad girl.

thank you for that late night Tim sum!

very very tiring day.
I saw someone at ion while waiting for them outside daiso. he came down from escalator staring at me. and I pretend I dint see him it was Andy. oo there was some story, mayb or not was with him when I'm 18? then I won't want to say hi.

lately everything screw up! my health everything. and met some fucked up people. I used my whole life to curse! fuck it. waiting for me to burst will be the day I'm not there. nnbccb slut I can say.

being a stupid to trust him, disappointment. I hope my dear friends please don mention him anymore. thank you it will be appreciated. it's dying inside me but. too much hurt from love, made me numbed! I will love myself more.

so please god let me have a nice smooth year ahead. I will want to travel more which mean holidays yeah with all my madness besties.

having alot of friends.
erm towards some friends I think I will sooner get rid of my list. is just words to describe 利用 in their dictionary. what do I call friends. I dont really wana mention them out. shake head. am I too kind to all?

thanks bin whom been accompanying me for dinner and jac been advising me. and all my besties gfs we might not meet often I know they are there. many to be name, when they knew something screw up for me I received messages and calls I feel loved. like this what I called friend when we suan each other and poke fun on. we cared, my dear Liyi always had lot of comment on me though. popping up how are you now, make me feel sweet. kok mei someone can rely on, one of my going out kaki. what's app could bring us so close where bren is always away from us, sometimes it will make my day by just looking at the conversation with jambel. and the dots.

I just I can rest awhile then will look for a job. no disturbance from anyone. simple will be good. (=

GAME OVER!

feifei can I honestly asked you did you touch any girls or in contact with them?

if so god please let me see it can please.

I love him alot. I just wana love you forever in my heart.

I make him really angry again. I am
unhappy whenever hes angry with me. can he wait for me?

Im hurt cause you look down on me.